If a Man Accuses You of Cheating Does That Mean That He Himself is Cheating? Here's My Opinion

in Cheating

The other day, I received an email in which the writer's husband had suddenly begun exhibiting some strange behaviors and accusations. Recently, he had begun accusing her of cheating, seemingly out of the blue.  She had also noticed that he wasn't spending as much time at home, was distracted, and seemed to find fault with her and the marriage on a much more frequent basis.  In short, he was just acting weird and distant and was giving off some strange vibes.  She wanted to know: "does my husband's accusing me of cheating mean that he is cheating on me?" I'll tell you my take on this question in the following article.

Is His Accusing You Of Cheating An Attempt To Take The Attention Away From Himself?:  The reasoning behind this theory goes something like this.  Your husband is cheating but in an attempt to throw you off of that trail, he'll throw accusations at you.  He hopes that you'll be so busy defending yourself and trying to prove this isn't true, that you won't notice his own strange behaviors. 

And often, a man who has been cheating spends a lot of time thinking about being deceptive and not getting caught.  This can cause a bit of paranoia on his part because his reality is all about not leaving clues. So, he's looking for and noticing those clues from you (even if they aren't really there) since he's spending so much time trying to cover his own tracks.

This may or may not be what is happening.  It could well be that there is a reason for him to feel insecure about the relationship or that he's going through his own issues right now that have little to do with the reality of the situation.  And, these issues may or may not include him cheating.  It can be important to consider if he's exhibited this kind of insecurity or accusations before or if they are seemingly coming out of no where and coupled with his own suspect behavior.

Taking The Entire Situation Into Account: If your husband or boyfriend is cheating, there will often be many more clues than just him accusing you of having an affair or cheating. He will likely exhibit suspicious behavior of his own.  You'll likely notice changes in the relationship.  There are often stereotypes that this means less attention, less sex, less intimacy, etc.  This is sometimes true, but it can also go the other way.

Sometimes, a man who is cheating will suddenly not be able to keep his hands off of you.  He may actually give you more attention and ask for more intimacy and pay you more attention.  This can happen for various reasons.  Sometimes he is feeling guilty and other times he just wants to defer suspicion.

Learn More Before You Accuse Him Or Cheating On You: Before you try to turn the tables on him and tell him that you think it's HIM who is cheating, spend some time observing to see if you can find out the truth on your own before you approach him. You should wait to bring this up for a few reasons.  First, you could be wrong. Second, if you are right then then you don't want to approach him until you have absolute and concrete proof.  He's already shown you that he is more than capable of turning the tables and blaming you for his behavior.  Don't give him any way to continue doing this.

If you're noticing weird or reoccurring phone calls, run the number through reverse look up. Check out the call log, photos, and texts or video on his mobile phone and run those through the records also.  Consider software on your computer or phone that will allow you to check up on him undetected.  The best case scenario is that neither of you are cheating and you can then address the issues between you.  But, if there is cheating going on and it isn't you, then you deserve to know what you are dealing with.  It is unfair that you are accused of cheating when actually, you are being cheated on.

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Seeta Dean has 1 articles online

I was in this same situation a short time ago. I tried to confront my husband too soon, before I had proof, and of course he denied everything. I tried to believe him, but the doubts remained. I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can read my very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/

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If a Man Accuses You of Cheating Does That Mean That He Himself is Cheating? Here's My Opinion

This article was published on 2010/03/27
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