Today modern technology allows us to be just about anywhere without needing to be there physically. Social networking and web communication can be wonderful tools. It can keep extended families close. It can allow you to communicate with others quickly and easily. But, it can also have a dark side. It can allow bored, restless, or experimenting spouses or loved ones to get what they should be seeking from you with anonymous (and sometimes not so anonymous) strangers.
There's a great deal of debate as to whether cyber cheating is really infidelity. I'll explore this issue in the following article, but that's really for you to decide. However, no matter how you feel on the topic, I'll also tell you how you can catch this online activity should you chose to.
Is Online Cheating Really Infidelity Or "Real Cheating?": Many will argue that flirting, chatting, meeting up, or carrying on on the net doesn't really mean anything. It's just a way to relieve boredom and pass the time. Well, there are many other websites from which your loved one can chose. I don't buy any of these arguments.
I've read statistics that indicate that over 30% of people who have an online chat follow it up physically. There are large numbers of people who meet folks on the net and then follow up on it in person. It's often not just a one time interaction that never happens again, as much as we would like to believe this. And, fooling around on the web often begins habits that only progressively get worse and more physical.
I often use this litmus test. Does your loved one hide their online activities? Would they allow to sit beside them or look over their shoulder as they conducted this cyber business or relationship? Probably not. It's more likely you catch them on the computer in the middle of the night, or they lock the door, or they go in and try to erase their Internet history or clear their cache.
In short, they know that they are doing something wrong. They know that they are getting something from someone else that they should be seeking from you. This little clandestine activity gives them almost the same pay off they would get in meeting face to face (which may eventually happen anyway.) And, they do it on the sly because they know that you would have a problem with it and they know they would most definitely put a stop to it if the roles were reversed.
Using Your Computer To Catch The Online Cheating: Often the evidence that you need is on your computer or phone. Before you do anything else, check the recycling bin on your computer. They are often not so stupid as to not empty this, but sometimes they get in a hurry and you'll find emails that they thought that they deleted.
Next, we'll go into your computer's Internet history. This is found by clicking on "my computer." Then at the top of the screen click on "view." Then click on "explorer bar." Then go to history. This will tell you what sites have been visited and hit on your computer. It will give you the main page of the sites, but you often won't get password, print outs of emails or transcripts of chats.
Still, this is a good place to start because you can see if there are unsavory sites that they have been visiting and at what time during the day. If this isn't enough to tell you what you need to know, the next step would be to install spy software on your computer that you show you everything – every password, every email, every interaction, every chat. You'll see the screen exactly as your spouse was seeing it at the time. There is also similar software for cell phones and you can check out both remotely, in real time, or later.
If you really want to know if your spouse is cyber cheating, there are very cheap tools to help you do this. What you do with the information is really up to you.
Spyware was one way that I caught my husband cheating. I avoided this for a long time. My heart knew that he was cheating, but my head didn't want to acknowlege it. After thinking on it for a long time, I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can read my very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/.